Proverbs 5
1 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
3 For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
6 Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
7 Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:
9 Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
10 Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
11 And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,
12 And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
13 And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!
14 I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.
15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.
18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.
22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.
23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.
Proverbs 5 Commentary
Chapter Overview
Proverbs 5 warns against sexual unfaithfulness and calls God’s people to value faithfulness within marriage. The chapter is direct because the danger is serious: temptation can begin with attractive words, but its final effects may include damaged character, broken trust, wasted years, financial loss, physical suffering, public shame, and spiritual ruin.
The father addresses his son, and the immediate danger is a forbidden woman. The underlying wisdom applies more broadly to both men and women. Anyone can be deceived by flattering attention, secrecy, fantasy, or a relationship that violates existing commitments. The issue is not hostility toward women; it is the exposure of seduction and betrayal as paths opposed to wisdom.
The chapter moves through three major ideas. Verses 1–6 contrast the sweetness of temptation with its bitter end. Verses 7–14 urge decisive distance and describe the regret that follows rejected correction. Verses 15–23 present marital faithfulness as a source of legitimate joy and conclude by reminding readers that every path remains visible to God.
Proverbs 5 does more than say no to adultery. It offers a positive vision of covenant love: drink from your own cistern, rejoice with the spouse of your youth, and remain satisfied in faithful affection. Wisdom does not treat sexual desire as inherently shameful. It directs desire toward a relationship marked by exclusivity, responsibility, delight, and enduring loyalty.
The chapter also explains how sin becomes bondage. A person may imagine that secret choices are expressions of freedom, yet repeated iniquities become cords that hold the sinner. God’s instruction protects freedom by exposing the destination of a path before its consequences become difficult to escape.
Commentary and Meaning
Verses 1–2 begin with attention. The son must bow his ear to understanding so that he can preserve discretion and speak knowledgeably. Temptation often creates urgency, narrowing attention to the immediate promise. Wisdom slows the moment down, remembers God’s instruction, and keeps truth available before desire takes control of the decision.
The lips appear twice in the opening verses. The son’s lips should keep knowledge, but the forbidden woman’s lips offer honeyed speech. The contrast is between truthful words that preserve life and persuasive words that conceal danger. Flattery becomes especially powerful when it tells a person what pride, loneliness, or resentment already wants to hear.
The expression “strange woman” in the King James Version refers to a woman who is outside the rightful covenant relationship—foreign to the marriage bond or forbidden by God’s moral instruction. It should not be read as a general condemnation of women from another nation or culture. Proverbs 2 uses the same figure for seductive unfaithfulness that abandons covenant promises.
Honey and oil describe the immediate appeal of seduction. The speech sounds sweet, smooth, and harmless. Verse 4 then reveals the end: bitterness like wormwood and sharpness like a double-edged sword. Wisdom evaluates an invitation not only by how it feels at the beginning but by what it produces after secrecy, excitement, and self-justification have passed.
The reference to death and “hell” in verse 5 uses the language of Sheol, the realm of the dead. The warning does not claim that every act of sexual sin causes immediate physical death. It identifies the direction of the path. A way that rejects God’s design carries death within it, damaging relationships, conscience, worship, and sometimes the body itself.
Verse 6 portrays the seducer’s ways as shifting or unstable. She does not carefully consider the path of life, and her movements prevent others from seeing where they lead. Deception survives by keeping matters undefined: the relationship is called harmless, temporary, deserved, or private. Wisdom names the path clearly rather than allowing changing explanations to erase moral reality.
Verses 7–8 repeat the call to listen and then command distance: “Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house.” This is stronger than resisting only at the final moment. It recommends boundaries before the crisis—avoiding settings, conversations, or private access that repeatedly weaken judgment. Proverbs 4 gives the same strategy toward evil, while Matthew 5 extends the concern from the outward act to lustful intention in the heart.
Verses 9–11 describe the loss of honor, years, wealth, labor, and bodily strength. Adultery can damage a household, reputation, finances, community trust, and physical well-being. Proverbs does not say every case unfolds identically or that every illness is punishment for sexual sin. It refuses the fantasy that private betrayal remains isolated from the rest of life; the full cost may appear only after something precious has been surrendered.
The regret in verses 12–13 is painfully specific: “How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof.” The ruined person cannot say that no warning was available. Teachers spoke, but the heart treated correction as an enemy. Reproof often feels restrictive in the moment, yet accepting it early can prevent the far harsher discipline of consequences.
Verse 14 brings the crisis into the congregation and assembly. What appeared secret has nearly become comprehensive ruin in the middle of the community. Sexual sin is personal, but it is rarely merely private. Spouses, children, friends, churches, and workplaces may all carry wounds created by promises that were broken behind closed doors.
Verses 15–17 shift to water imagery: “Drink waters out of thine own cistern.” In an arid land, a private cistern or well represented a valued, protected source of refreshment. Here it portrays sexual intimacy within one’s own marriage. The image joins pleasure with belonging and responsibility. What is received with gratitude inside the covenant should not be sought through trespass outside it.
Verses 16–17 can be translated or punctuated in ways that make verse 16 either a question or a statement. In context, the central idea is clear: the fountain of marital intimacy is not to be scattered indiscriminately among strangers. Some interpreters also see the waters as including children or household fruitfulness. In either case, the passage commends exclusive covenant faithfulness rather than promiscuous dispersion.
“Let thy fountain be blessed” turns the warning into a prayerful positive. Faithfulness is not merely the absence of an affair; it is the cultivation of a marriage that can receive God’s blessing. The command to rejoice with the wife of one’s youth calls for continuing delight as years pass. Early affection should mature into gratitude, knowledge, patience, and renewed commitment rather than being discarded for novelty.
Verse 19 uses the poetic language of marital attraction. Scripture can speak openly of embodied affection without treating it as dirty or trivial. The language belongs within the chapter’s framework of exclusivity and lifelong loyalty. Genesis 2 similarly presents husband and wife as joined in a one-flesh union without shame.
The phrase “be thou ravished always with her love” means to be captivated or deeply satisfied. Proverbs directs strong desire rather than pretending it does not exist. Married couples are encouraged to nurture affection, conversation, trust, and appropriate physical intimacy. Verse 20 then exposes the irrational exchange of rightful, life-giving love for a forbidden embrace that must be hidden and progressively narrows freedom.
Verse 21 gives the decisive theological reason for integrity: human ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he weighs every path. Secrecy from people is not secrecy from God. This truth is a warning to the deceptive and a comfort to the betrayed. God sees hidden conduct accurately, without being manipulated by appearances or partial stories. Psalm 139 likewise describes the Lord’s complete knowledge of human ways.
Verses 22–23 describe sin as a trap constructed from one’s own iniquities. The cords are not arbitrary restraints placed upon an innocent person; they are formed through repeated choices. Fantasies, messages, lies, meetings, and rationalizations can become a network of dependency. What once seemed optional begins to demand protection and repetition.
The final tragedy is death “without instruction.” The phrase does not necessarily mean the person never heard teaching; earlier verses show that instruction was rejected. To die without discipline is to remain uncorrected because wisdom was continually refused. The greatness of folly leads the sinner astray, emphasizing that ruin is not caused by insufficient cleverness but by moral unwillingness to be taught.
Important Verses and Questions
Does Proverbs 5 blame women for men’s sexual sin? No. The father warns a son about the form temptation is likely to take in his situation, but the son remains responsible for listening, keeping distance, and honoring his covenant. Elsewhere Scripture directly condemns unfaithful men as well. The wisdom principle applies to every person who tempts another or violates a commitment.
What does “strange woman” mean? It means a forbidden or covenant-breaking partner, not simply a woman who is unfamiliar, unusual, or ethnically foreign. The focus is moral and relational: she offers intimacy outside the boundaries God has established.
What do the cistern, well, and fountain represent? They chiefly represent marital intimacy as a private and legitimate source of delight. The surrounding language of exclusivity and rejoicing with one’s spouse supports this meaning. The imagery may also suggest the family life and fruitfulness that properly flow from a faithful union.
Does the chapter speak only to married people? Its direct contrast concerns adultery and marital faithfulness, but unmarried readers also receive important wisdom. Sexual desire should not be allowed to create secret, exploitative, or covenant-breaking relationships. Self-control, honorable treatment of others, and wise boundaries prepare a person for faithful living in any state of life.
Can God forgive someone who has committed adultery? Yes. Adultery is serious, and forgiveness does not erase every earthly consequence or instantly rebuild trust. Yet Scripture offers mercy to those who confess and turn from sin. Genuine repentance accepts truth, ends the wrongdoing, seeks appropriate help, and submits to the long work of repair rather than demanding quick relief from consequences.
What is the main message of Proverbs 5? Do not judge sexual temptation by its flattering beginning. Consider its bitter destination, receive correction before regret, establish real distance from forbidden intimacy, cultivate joy within faithful covenant love, and remember that God sees and weighs every path.
Practical Applications
Identify the “door” you should not approach. It may be a private messaging pattern, an emotionally intimate friendship, pornography, a recurring meeting, substance use that lowers judgment, or a place where secrecy is easy. Build the boundary before desire begins negotiating with it.
Receive correction without making the teacher your enemy. When a spouse, friend, pastor, counselor, or mature believer raises a credible concern, resist the instinct to hide details or attack motives. Compare the warning honestly with Scripture and with the direction your choices are taking.
Cultivate marital joy deliberately. Shared time, honest conversation, forgiveness, affection, prayer, and appropriate intimacy rarely thrive through neglect. Rejoicing in one’s spouse is both an attitude of gratitude and a set of repeated actions that communicate faithful delight.
Refuse relationships that depend on secrecy. A connection that must be hidden from a spouse, misrepresented to trusted people, or protected by deleted messages is already training the heart in deception. Bring questionable patterns into the light early, before emotional attachment becomes a cord.
When sexual sin has occurred, pursue repentance rather than image management. End the sinful contact, tell the truth to the people who must know, seek qualified pastoral or professional help, accept safeguards, and do not pressure injured people to restore trust faster than honesty and consistent change allow.
Remember the destination of repeated choices. Ask not only, “Can I get away with this?” but, “What will this make me love, what lies will it require, whom could it wound, and where will it lead if repeated?” Wisdom considers the whole path while there is still time to turn.